So 2 weeks ago I take my 14 year old daughter shopping at the mall for her annual summer trip to NY to visit family. She wanted to use her birthday money and gift cards to buy clothes at Hollister .
So far so good! Well, we enter the dark, cologne smelling store with loud music and friendly staff. My daughter starts her shopping and I decide to go to the sales table to look at tank tops for me. Well, it did not take long before my daughter comes up to me and says “Mom, YOU are NOT shopping at Hollister! Mom’s don’t shop at Hollister. You are too old for this store. OMG, I can’t believe you are buying something here!” I told her that the tanks did not even have the Hollister name on it only the small logo at the bottom of the tank. That did not convince her. Off she went in a huff with a face filled with horror.
When we were ready to check out, she sternly says to me, “Give me your tops, make it look like I am buying them.” I just stood there looking at her and thinking, she is not serious. This is not happening. But, I was wrong. She took them as if they were hers and I paid for them!!
As you know from my intro from Cindy Goodman, I am a proud and active PTA mom. I say this so you will understand her next comment as we are leaving Hollister. “Mom, what are you a PTA Mom wearing teenage clothes to try to relive your teenage years?” In utter shock, I said “No.” I just wanted two tank tops, not because I wanted to feel like I was a teenager or that I could fit in the tank but, that I really like the tops. She also decided to hold the bag with my tanks so it looks like she bought them. I don’t make this stuff up. I am not old and I don’t feel old but heck my daughter sure thinks and makes me feel like I am.
So, I ask you, is it okay for Mom’s to shop at Hollister? Are we trying to feel or look younger by wearing their clothes or is this just our teenager’s feeling embarrassed by their mom shopping in their store?
Raising Teens 
I’ve stumbled on this post but this is seemingly outrageous. I’m a teen, and although I was fond of this store in the past, I only come back to get some basics and other nice prints. I don’t believe stores have a strict audience, but others sure as heck love to see it that way.
Anyone has the freedom to shop wherever, everyone else is seeing the exterior of things. Because its from Hollister doesn’t mean it’s not a worth product to buy. We teens do seemingly see it awkward for parents to buy from the store. It might be the thought of “Mom! This is teen clothing, you can’t shop here, it’s geared to younger ages.” One such is a friend of mine who believes so, as her parents do look around for things there. But the quality can be much better than other stores. Sometimes the leather belts can be greatly discounted and fare much cheaper than other stores.
I’m not one to judge shopping, but if you score a deal, then a deal you shall get. Who cares where. I don’t want to seem to barge, but perhaps your teen daughter will have to deal with it. One day, she WILL get over the faze and understand. Meanwhile, you could explain your reasoning on the clothes. But I’ll end it here, I’m not one for the graphic tees and label-plastered clothing, but I’m about to add some more collections to my wardrobe. You can find some of the greatest tees, skirts, and luxuriously warm hoodies there. So, hold your goods proudly =]
-Rae
P.s. Sorry if it seems off-topic(?), maybe I can only aspire to write better.
Thank you all for your comments on my post. It was and is quite refreshing to read all the different points of view. I welcome all the feedback and appreciate the insight. My daughter actually read some of the comments made about her and it was priceless to see her reaction to what other people think of her actions. It’s not just mom! I know we may not all have the same parenting skills or agree on them but, we all agree on one thing, we love our kids and do the best we can to raise them properly. Thank you again and stay tuned for more exciting posts!
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Your daughter sounds like an ungrateful, judgmental and spoiled person, which I’m sure is not what you want her to be. Maybe you should suggest she buy her own clothes from now on and find a way to get herself to the mall where she can go around judging people for what they wear. The idea that she speaks to you that way shows that you need to reevaluate your relationship with your daughter. Who is in charge, and why in God’s name does she speak so disrespectfully to you?
i think your girl needs a reality check. Tell her that next you would be glad to BUY her clothes, at Zellers.
End of story.
Zellers = Kmart.
This subject is really surprising to me that its even an issue but its making me think about how I dress. I’m 43 years old, the mother of an 15 year old son and a 9 year old daughter and I wear a size 5. Its hard for me to find clothes that fit me in the women’s department not to mention I really don’t like the style of most of the clothes in the women’s department. I’m not trying to relive my teenage years but I don’t understand why I shouldn’t be able to wear whatever I want if it looks good on me and makes me look good. I don’t go over board and there are limits but I do like “skinny jeans! So does that make me wrong?
I say no it is not. I am appalled when I see moms wearing the latest trends that the kids are wearing. I love to dress young but I will not be wearing anything my kids do. We have a mom in our town who has begun to dress like the kids. She was wearing the same short romper my daughter has and I think she looked like a middle aged woman trying to recapture her youth. Ladies, be proud of your age, your experience and be comfortable in your middle age skin! We don’t need to wear Hollister to be sexy and young.
I’m not a teen, a parent or a woman, but I think that an adult should be allowed to buy clothes whereever she wants. You are the grownup not the kid.
I am 52 years old and I wear what I please and it will never change no matter if I am 100 or 200 of years old. Anyone who judges is not worth talking about it, or to them.
People who ask “can I wear this and that” are the one supporting the judgers! Why? Because secretly there is an inner voice in them who says “you are too this and that to wear that”. If they were vibrating in “I am ok to wear that” then there would be no judgmental people attracted.
As I say that – it is judging also. I judge the one who judge. I shall go into myself and release on it, so that next time I see such a stupid outrages post (not about the writer but about the theme), I will just smile and feel sooo great. And I will know I am ok. And others are ok… I start already to get the feeling – to get a wiff of the feeling…
Where whatever you want and don’t apologize for it. This post infuriated me. Your daughter shouldn’t talk to you that way…and you shouldn’t let her run the show.
wear…god!
There is nothing wrong with buying those tanks. As long as they are age appropriate what difference does it make? I would have paid for them myself and carried my own bag. I am a mom and I have lived through those years ( not fun). The thing is, I had to stand up for myself numerous times and while I gave in at the beginning of those crazy years after a while I said no. I’m a person not just your mom and I am allowed to have a life and pick out clothes that I like. As long as I don’t look like I just walked out a juniors store ,leave me alone and let me say again, I’m your Mom you haven’t earned the right to tell me what to do.
Shop wherever you want and wear whatever you want. There, done, end of story.
Wow, i’m glad I don’t have teenage daughters.
there are no laws that say it’s illegal for moms to shop at teen stores! My first thought was that your daughter is a spoiled brat telling you where and what you can or cannot buy. And to certain extent kids are nowadays given a lot of liberty and consideration by the parents, so they naturally boss you around. I know my 6 year old does.
When I thought about it a little deeper and put myself in the shoe of a 15 year old girl, I sorta could identify what she’s going through at that moment, it’s a possessiveness about her store, a violation of her image of what a mom should be, maybe even a hint of female competitiveness that promoted her outburst. And without enough emotional maturity at that age, it’ s actually a natural and unfiltered reaction coming from her.
So to your question, the answer is another question: how important is it to you that you don’t shop at Hollister? It’s ok from every perspective…except your daughter’s.
Dear Hollister Mom,
You seem like a perfectly well meaning mother who, frankly got her feelings hurt by an unappreciative 14 year old girl, which you clearly didn’t deserve. However, as a 26 year old woman I feel that I am simply too old to shop at Hollister. It is not that the clothes don’t fit older people; they are just made for teens. There is a certain sense of acomplishment that comes with age and should be embraced; I personally love being able to pull off a sexy wrap dress that a 15 year old girl would look ridiculous in. Embrace your age and the beauty that comes with it, who wants to look 14? Not me!
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You are the mother, she is the child. You allowing such a disrespectful attitude from her is exactly what is wrong with many teens today. I see it all the time at the pediatric/adolescent primary care practice where I work. It’s really alarming that parents are not respected by their teens. What has happened to parents these days that they are such wimps? You should have calmly and lovingly told your daughter that she does not have the right to tell you where you are allowed to shop or what you are allowed to buy. She does not own any store or any brand. Then you should have calmly and lovingly gone with her to the register and paid for your tank tops yourself and maybe even bought something with the logo just to make a point. I’m personally not in favor of parents emulating their teens in any way because the goal is for teens to grow into responsible adults, not parents to go back to adolescence. But you have the freedom to shop exactly where you want to without having to justify that to your teen, as long as you are shopping legally. That you are even questioning whether or not mom’s should shop somewhere is ridiculous! Please set a mature example for your daughter by expecting respect from her so that she will do the same one day for her daughter.
From a mother of three daughters: 22, 20 and 15.
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Following this story from another story, these are the fashions we 40somethings created back when we were teens and 20somethings, so it is the kids who are trying to dress like us!!! Not vica-versa, these kids have no identity of their own and are the first generation to not create any unique style of clothes or music, the last to invent anything new was those who created grunge and emo, and that’s that, the closest thing to anything new is still a recreation, the techno-geek, rapper movement, like MC Lars and NerdCore (which was still started by a previous generation, ie. Revenge of the Nerds), So you see, these kids need to find their own style and either stop trying to dress like mom and dad, or stop complaining. Cause you know all of us Punks and Goths from the 80’s had all the good clothes!!!!
That kind of disrespect is what turns teens against parents. Also, have you seen hipsters? They may be obnoxious, but they go out of their way to dress a certain way that I’m pretty sure was not inspired by any one of the stereotypes created 30-40 years ago.
Weird. My kids LIKE that I shop in their stores. But they’ve never really been the kind of kids who are embarrassed easily by things their family does. They hug me in front of their friends and say “I love you mama,” they want their friends to come over and meet their family, and they always thought it was neat that I shop (sometimes) in the same stores they shop in. I am incredibly lucky; I do not see many kids these days who act that way. Reading this article, I realize that so many things that most teenagers do now, and how they react to things like this, are things I never once saw in my own children. I am going to go tell them how much I love them, and how incredibly awesome they really are.
I saw this article at CNN. You have the right to wear whatever you want. Don’t let society, the media, your family members, etc dictate that because you are a certain age, that you have to dress a certain way, wear your hair a certain way, or behave a certain way. I am also in my 40’s and have kids ranging from teens to my oldest who is a father. I love fashion and am not going to force myself to change my tastes just because I am in my forties. If anyone has a problem with what you’re wearing, tell them to mind their own business. Stand firm. Your body, your business. I saw the picture of you on CNN. You look great!
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Other commenters have said that you can shop where you like, and that’s true, but I also think that stores *are* geared at a certain audience, and it might be possible to find things that fit you in any store, but do you really need to buy them from that particular store? You could probably buy tank tops from any number of stores that look good and fit you, why buy them from a store aimed at teenagers? I agree with Janie — I’m 30, and I don’t shop at Hollister because I think I’m too old for their clothes. I’ll buy my cute tank tops elsewhere, thanks.
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There are two types of people who are going to tell you not shop at a store like Hollister: women who do not have the figure for it or women who think because they are a certain age that you “have to dress” your age. I dress differently on the weekend than I do during the week. My wife was caught up in a similar issue because she was working with women who fight into the two categories that I listed. And this was when she was a size four and 23. Too often we try to put labels on what should pass. Turn of the View and Joan Rivers. Wear what you want. And hey, if you have the body for it, I guarantee no men are going to complain. I would wager every husband would not mind having a wife that wore short shorts, tight jeans, or a bikini. Just watch tv. Actresses get away with it, why not the mom. If you disagree with me then, I wod wager you fall into the categories I listed. If not, then go get some skinny jeans, a pair of heels, and see how great you will feel.
Your daughter is a bitch.
I understand your daughter completly!!! Im 13 years old and whenever my parents buy abercrombie i like seriously just walk out of the store imbaressed to death. So i cant even be seen with my parents wearing abercrombie…its just plain imbarresing. My parents are in their 40’s so yeah umm…NO! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE IF YOUR OVER 26 DO NOT WEAR ANY OF THOSE BRANDS… you ruining us teenagers style,because of older people were gonna have to find a diffrent brand to wear.
Like really?, I think …like you need to like; check spelling before ah.. you post…, like literally before you post
wow i’m 31 yrs old and I own hollister yoga pants….i’m 5’7 120lbs and I feel the pants are comfy. I do buy things from hollister I see no problem now I’m rethinking reading this article. I have thre boys 6,8 and 10 yrs old and I see no problem….guess I’ll stop shopping at Hollister:(
**three
Than you Dana!
Your daughter is sooo lucky! I am 14 and my mom wont even let me shop. She says i shouldnt be shopping and i am too young. Its gets really sad when i see all my friends going shopping, especially when one of them asks me to come also, but i have to make up some crazy excuse like, for ex., im broke. Im so embarrassed that my mom will nokt let me shop! She doesnt even buy clothes for me either! As of now, i need some camis since i recently lost some weight and asked her to buy some for me, since she wouldnt let me go with her or with friends or even just alone. She said no! She said that i shouldnt get addicted and should really stop obssessing over vbuying new clothes. (i havent had nrw clothes in around four or five months.) you may be wondering how did i get clothes four months ago, and it isnt simple. I begged her to go because it was becoming summer and i had exactly one pair of jeans that fit and two(good) old short sleeved shirts. We got into a big arguement and my mom dragged my dad into also. Finally, she gave up and said she would let me shop the whooolee day tomorrow so i would get sick of it. Turns out, she meant that literally. The next day, she dropped me off at the shopping mall with just forty bucks! I was planning on a good, satisfying shopping spree after four months with nothing in season to wear, when she handed me a pitiful two twenties-all inclusive. I had to buy lunch, clothes, and as i learned later the hard way, dinner. I spent it before four oclock pm and called her to pick me up. The problem is, she wouldnt pick me up! She said i had not shopped even no matter how i told her that i had no more money. I had to stay till 7 pm. It isnt because were poor, in fact we are not. Both my parents work and earn a pretty good salary. I say your daughter is really lucky. I wish my mom was like this. And with your issue, really, your daughter is so mean. You can wear whatever you want. If those same tanks were from ann taylor, i bet she wouldnt interfere.
http://www.lovelyish.com/711732122/silly-mom-hollister-is-for-middle-schoolers/
Not only do teenagers think it’s silly for moms to shop there, a lot of parents do too.
On countless occasions I have taken my daughter to shop for whatever she wants. Keep in mind that I (not her mother) buy her clothes for her regardless of the season. My daughter often complains that her mom is always wearing her clothes, all the while saying “This is my house…I can wear whatever I want”. This attitude upsets my daughter and me as well. Is my (14 year old) daughter wrong for not wanting her mother (who doesn’t offer a dime in the clothes purchase process) to wear the clothes that she has picked out for herself? Is her (44 year old) mom wrong for wearing teenagers clothing just because it fits and it keeps her from having to go out and spend her own earnings on clothes that are age appropriate for herself? I think the answers are obvious here. Someone once told me, “just because you can, doesn’t mean that you should”. I believe this applies to adults wearing of a teenagers clothes. What do you think?
I would say that you are never too old to wear anything but it is a Feeling you get personally. Its like when all of a sudden you are on the fence and asking yourself am I not doing this justice anymore? Age ain’t nothing but a number and that saying is very true! It all just depends on the person and there own situations and their speed of growing up. Like for me: I entered college at 18 received my bachelors and lived in the dorm the entire time because I was in love with the experience and place. And most of my friends I had acquired were 2-3 years younge than me wen I graduated at 22 I decided I was already established so I went onto graduate school and lived in the dorm again with my same little group of friends through my graduation at 24. So then I lived with parents while some of friends had been married for a year and some even had a kid over 3 by then. They were wearing appliquéd christmas sweaters while I was wearing anf and hco. They in my opinion had missed out on their twenties by rushing the lifestyle. I lived at home and saved all money and worked in a professional job and continued to wear my own thing which consisted of bright colored skinny pants and heels and trendy blouses while my friends had somehow dipped into the the fountain of progression! They were appearing six to ten years older due to stresses of having multiple children now entering teen ages and it had taken a toll on their self esteem and bodies. I am now 33 and just got my first house and I continue I wear hollister and abercrombie. But I do not buy any style. There is a limit to me. I dont buy Graphic tshirts like ride my bicycle or somwthing stupid like that. Those are for the kids. But I Like navy blue is one of several colors that just FIT me so I wear the open cardigan sweater look with a lacy tank underneath with skinny jeans. It works for me. I like it and actually I still have the same lower body as I always did in juniors so hco jeans fit me more than any other brand. I mean hell the employees are mostly upper 20s so they like it too. I say dress how you feel! If you like something buy it up an enjoy it because beige you know it your tastes do change over time it just sneaks up on you! I mean I don’t want to still rock the hair bows I wore when I was ten! As for your little girl she is just being a young girl because she is behaving like she thinks she should by telling you what not to do because she is feeling awkward. It’s okay you can always be yourself!
I love this comment!
I’m only 22 and I was wondering if I was too old also, but this gives me so much more confidence. I shop at Hollister, but I don’t buy the graphic tees or anything with big logos either. Just jeans, basic tees, tanks and cardigans, and occasionally the floral dresses!
I’m not going to change who I am and what I like due to the opinion of some teenagers…
Anyone over 30 is not suppose to wear Hollister or Abercrombie! I swear to god seeing teachers in our school wearing them makes my friends and I feel ‘ yikes! ‘.
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You can shop wherever you want to and your daughter shouldn’t have made such a big deal out of it but I’m not going to lie, it is slightly cringeworthy when I see moms in trendy teenage clothing.